Kim Jong-Il has arrived! The world's favorite chubby Korean with bad glasses has moved into the neighborhood. He's one wild and crazy guy, as evidenced by his half open shirt and bizarre couch. Kim promptly grabbed a career in the military and was promoted to "Elite Forces" after only one day!
He also found out that the Sim Military is not forgiving of stupidity as he managed to get food poisoning just two days after settling in. He tried to call in sick and was told, essentially, to quit his girlish whining, get into his uniform, and get his ass to work.
Yikes.
BUT, away from work, Kim is quite popular. He's not yet met Cheney, Kerry, or Saddam but he's already best friends with Edwards and Osama! He's also got a harem of pre-generated Sim women that just fawn all over him. Ugh, even one of my own Sims likes him.
Kennedy Cox is an asshat though, he's always poking him or playing stupid tricks. I should just have Kennedy 'accidentally' become stuck in the pool.

But enough of that, let's meet Kim and follow him through a few days of his simulated life!

Kim has no table manners.


Having a career in the military track, Kim must always be in tip top shape.
Exercise can come in many forms, including dancing solo and doing backflips on the couch.

"I am the very model of a modern major general!"


A couch easily doubles as a home gym for those who don't wish to ruin their decor by adding a bulky machine.





Many of you may not know this, but Kim Jong-Il is an artist!


...he just happens to be a very unskilled one.


Attempts at painting aside, Kim decided to give Osama a call.
"Hey 'sama! Buddy! You got those WMDs we talked about? Bushie's outta the picture so...why don't you c'mon over?"


"So man, did you bring the goods?"


"Kim, we've been over this, you are supposed to supply the WMDs to me. For Allah's sake, I've been living in caves for the past...oh...I don't know...DECADE or so. Remember?"
"Curses!"


"Good god, what an idiot..."


From here the topic shifted to "OH MY CHIRST, does America ever SUCK!"

"Republicans suck, don't they? Elephants are so big, slow, and stinky."


"You are so right Kim; and not only that, Washington just plain sucks. It's like the asstard capitol of the WORLD!"


"Uh...no, you're wrong there. They're great. They let me have WMDs because they think I'm crazy enough to use them if they tell me I can't. Washington can kiss my Korean ass! I love 'em!"
"Oh fuck you, Kim."


"HAHAHAHA they think they're the world's police, and look what it's got them! A total disaster in foreign relations and alliances, plus being stuck in a war that has no end in sight! Morons, all!"


But what's this? The DOORBELL! Kim has more visitors!
John Edwards, Ophelia (one of my other Sims), and Nina (a pregenerated Sim) have stopped by to welcome him to the neighborhood!
And what's Kim's initial impression of Little John?
Cute, but boring.


The foursome moved into the living room from which Osama had completely disappeared (I think he went home). The two female Sims started making out right there! I must have a chat with Ophelia about that, last I played her she was quite single and not interested in anyone, and suddenly she's got a hot redhead attached to her face...hrm. It seems that both Kim and Little John had been partaking in the pleasures of the pool out back, as they were both wearing their swimming suits.
John slyly suggests they grab a couple cold ones and enjoy the show.


This is just Edwards-in-a-Speedo filler.



Later that afternoon, the group moved out to the Party Room (i.e. the bitchin' backyard!) for some dancing, grilling, swimming and overall paaaaaarrrrrrrrrtying!


Apparently Little John is, at this point, extremely comfortable at the Jong-Il house; he just marched his pretty little self inside and took a bubble bath.


The next day, John called to invite Kim to the park.
Kim had just arrived home from work, and not remembering that he was in desperate need of a shower after a day of military training, agreed.
This was doomed to fail; he ended up making everyone around him gag.


Slinking home in stinky shame, Kim bathed and ran into the maid.
Conversation ensued. If you're under 18, you're not allowed to get the joke below.
"So, I have a pearl necklace for you if you'd like it. You're a pretty girl, you deserve one."


"Oh Kim, that's so sweet! I'd love for you to give me a pearl necklace!"


THAT disturbing image aside, I'll leave you now with two of the most disturbing images seen since the Bush/Kerry makeout sessions.




Dick Cheney goes to the park!