Hooray! Our favorite VP has moved in next door. This is only natural, as the VP takes over if the President dies.
And SimGeorge died because I was an idiot and forgot to turn off aging. Oopsie. Fear not! Dick Cheney is here!
He's a foul tempered little beastie, he went out of his way to pick a fight with poor SimSaddam. Saddam only wanted to be friends, but oh no, Dick had to go and be...well...a dick. More on that later.

Let's meet SimDick, shall we?

"Oh yeah, I SO rule now that that shaved chimp is sitting on an urn on Kerry's table. BOOYAH!"


Not long into the self admiration session, some neighborhood friends dropped by to welcome Cheney to the neighborhood. Andrea, some woman I don't recall, Big John and Saddam.

"Hey there Muslimanian, you look awfully familiar."
"Ah, Saddam. Saddam Hussein. You probably remember me from that asskicking your military gave me back in March of 2003."
"Oh right, right...well, pleasure's all mine, I'm sure."


"No need to worry Mr. Dick, I'm a peaceful guy. I've been trying to tell you that for years, no WMDs here."


"Fucktard. Like you should be babbling on about justice..."


"HA! He got it right with the rat part. Fuck this guy, he can go fuck himself, I think I'll go chat up that Senator from Massachusetts..."


"Heya Senator! You like politics?"
"You know I do!" Kerry proceeds to chatter like a schoolgirl and hang on to Cheney's every word...at least for a few minutes.




"d00d! d00d! Did you know I was in Vietnam?! Seriously!"
"...no. No, I've never heard you say that dozens and dozens of times in the past year."
"Oh really?! Well, I'll tell you all about it! OMG, so there I was..."



Cheney soon got bored listening to recounts of war, and started to walk away. Undaunted, John stopped him, "Hey you colossal Dick, I listened to you drone on and on about Haliburton and oil and all that boring garbage..."


I'm not sure what Cheney's response was in Simspeak, but it caused negative signs to appear above heads, and John wandered inside to watch television.
Cheney went on to find out where that nasty ol' Saddam had run off to; he was probably hiding WMDs around the house.
That bastard.

"Saddam! You asshat, you're not allowed to have anything nuclear!"
"...but, um, I don't..."


"Oh...well...you can't have any carbombs either!"
"d00d! That only started after YOU idiots invaded!!"


"...DAMMIT I KNOW YOU'RE HIDING WMDS!! WHERE ARE THEY?! THE TENNIS COURTS IN THE PALACE?!"
"Uh...Dick...there weren't any tennis courts at the palace. Chill. I told you, I just want to live here in peace. I don't have any goddamned WMDs!"


"Where. Are. They?!"


"I TOLD YOU, I don't have any damned WMDS! Christ, why don't you go harass that Korean guy?!"


And Cheney slapped him!


"...oh bitch, you did NOT! Try that again. I dare you. I will kick your ASS Cheney! You don't have your army here to back you up!"


An argument then broke out between Saddam and Cheney. I suspect they were arguing over the WMDs Saddam claimed not to have, but that Cheney insisted he was hiding. Andrea, who I suspect was Tony Blair in disguise, was cheering them on!

"You're starting to piss me off...where. Are. The. WMDs?!"


"BITCH!! I KEEL J00!!! GIVE UP THE WEAPONS!!! NOW!!! I'LL KICK YOUR ASS ALL OVER AGAIN!"
It's worth noting that Cheney fights like a combination of a girl and the Three Stooges.




On second thought, they both fight like girls.


"That's right, baldy! Who's your daddy?! Say it. SAY IT!"


Secure in his victory, Saddam stomped out of the Cheney house and went home.

At any rate, the girls felt sorry for poor Dick. That mean old ex-dictator was so mean to him, and he's such as sweetheart. Look! He was even crying!




I have no idea where John was during all of this. He had been watching TV, but disappeared just before the fight happened.
I'm guessing he'd gone upstairs to investigate the hot tub on the roof as he came back down the stairs in...um...a speedo.
So...yeah...


Oh those wily Koreans!